Gluttony In The 21st Century: FOOD ABUSE

The Cheese. OH YES. The CHEESE.

My dinner regimen for the past two evenings:

• 1 solid chunk (4-6 servings) of baked ziti heavily doused in hot sauce and chipotle peppers
• 1 hearty salad with cheesy ranch dressing and avocados

Dessert

• A film on the television set
• 6-7 brews
• 3 to 4 hefty handfuls of yogurt pretzels
• Several gulps of ice cream
• Assorted cashews, pistachios, and peanuts

I can't help myself. FOOD IS GOOD.

However, I've put on some poundage since my arrival into suburban San Antone. Lately all I've been doing is sitting on my lazy ass and downin' some serious chomp.

At 4am this morning I awoke to some severely sharp pains in my stomache area. In a drowsy stupor, the only words I could mutter aloud were "FOOD ABUSE."

'Twas a night filled with terror. But I made it through. Have I learned my lesson? I'm afraid not. The food is calling my name. It always will be. And I will always follow.

GIMME SOME GORGONZOLA