H-E-B - 100% APPROVED

Founded by Howard E. Butt, this grocery store truly packs a punch. Now that I'm unemployed and living in suburbia, I have the opportunity to visit this fine establishment on a daily basis.

I live closest to an H-E-B Plus, which is without a doubt the crem-della-crem of supermarket grocery chains. Upon arrival two days ago I bought the Sonic Youth disc "Goo," various shaving supplies, and some other-worldly chicken cordon bleu (along with a chunk of stellar macaroni and cheese).

As stated earlier today, I was at a traditional location of this grocer this morning and had a memorable experience. Later today I returned to H-E-B plus and purchased an extensive grocery list that included an atrociously large bag of dog food, several packages of assorted sushi, and two cartons of soy milk.

The most outstanding perk of this location is that there are sample stations open everyday of the week. As opposed to a circus-like college town, suburban H-E-B locations cater to the more wealthy, and possibly the more wise. I don't fall into either category but I've been trying to make the sample rounds at least once a day. As long as I can keep the sample station server convo to a minimum, i'll be gettin' by...

PURCHASE POTENTIAL: ABORT

It has been known to me that buying goods off of street salesmen is never the most wise decision. We're talkin' knives, insurance, chocolates, whatever. But recently I have been reminiscing on several experiences in which I've been approached by a questionable individual trying to sell me speakers out of the back of their car.

Years ago, in the parking lot of what was soon to be an H.E.B. PLUS (More on that later), a man in a greasy tie confronted me with a purchasing opportunity. You see, he had just picked up several speaker systems from the factory and they ended up giving him "a couple extra." Apparently these audio devices maintain a retail price of over $1,500 USD but they were willing to negotiate. I took a look at the boxes, they looked sleek and promising, but I declined the offer and went on to buy some groceries (candy bars, french bread, assorted cheeses, candles, etc.)

I quickly forgot about the encounter until months later when a nearly identical situation occured. This has been happening occasionally over the years and just recently happened to my father, Rich L. Capps.

I figured there must be some sort of explanation for this bizarre sales technique so I conducted some research. This bunk sales practice is known as the WHITE VAN SPEAKER SCAM.

Similar experiences have been shared by many and stories have been posted on Crimes Of Persuasion. There is also a feature on Wikipedia.

I was walking into a central San Antonio H.E.B. at 8 A.M. today when some bimbo pulled up next to me and asked if I wanted to buy a brand-new GPS system from him for $250 USD. I told him NO.

Beware of morons, they find their way into the lives of upstanding citizens across the globe. They will try to manipulate you. They will try to cheat you.

But in the end, WE WILL PREVAIL.